In this Dad Diary, I talk honestly about the shame of “losing custody,” what it felt like to have my devotion as a dad used against me in court, and how I learned not to let bitterness own my life. I share the story of stepping away from the drama to go off grid with my son during a crucial appeal, why nature and presence have become my anchors, and how I have built a strong bond with my 12 year old across an ocean. This episode is for any separated parent who feels judged or written off by the system and needs a reminder that the real verdict is in your child’s heart, not in a courtroom.
In this episode, I unpack what it is like to be labelled a dad who “lost custody” after years of giving everything to my son. I walk through my work story, how my flexible career and time with him were framed as a weakness in court, and why that judgement left such a deep feeling of shame. From there, I talk about the choice to stop feeding resentment, to step away from online drama, and to focus instead on love, presence and long term connection.
I also share one of the biggest turning points in my journey, taking my son and my partner off grid while we waited for an appeal decision, and how those days by the lake became a template for how I cope with stress as a long distance dad. I close with some simple ideas for staying connected across distance, from consistent FaceTime rituals to making small, memorable adventures when you are finally together.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
What it actually feels like to “lose custody” and carry that label
How my work history and time with my son were used against me in court
Why holding on to bitterness gives your power away to the system
The story of going off grid with my son while we waited for an appeal decision
How nature, adventure and simple rituals help me stay grounded as a long distance dad
Practical ideas for staying close through FaceTime, shared interests and small adventures
A reminder to get support, keep showing up and let your love for your child lead the way